Mentally three labors in one

Joseph Roland Goode 

Born Sept 3rd at 11:33pm 8lbs 2oz and 21 inches long. 

Joseph’s birth story

It was Labor Day September 3^rd 2012.  Steve got up with the kids and made pancakes. Peter came in to tell me they were ready so I got myself out of bed. Before going to the kitchen I headed to the bathroom. When I went, I saw that my mucus plug had come out. At my last appointment, on Friday, they told me I was at three and a half centimeters so I thought, well today could be the day!  I went out to eat breakfast and told Steve.

            After breakfast I showered and walked around the house picking up stuff. I never sat down.  I wanted the baby to come. Steve started timing my contractions. They were coming hard every 11 minutes with a mild one in between at 6 or 7 minutes. We decided to call the doctors to see if we should head to the hospital; it’s 45 minutes away.  The doctor on call said that we should come in to get checked. Steve finished the dishes and got the rest of his things ready to go. Then he brought the kids over to Megan and Joseph’s. I got my things together and waited for him to come back. On our drive down my contractions tapered off. We were laughing and talking.  It was an enjoyable drive down.

            When we got there, the nurses put us in a triage “stall”.  A nurse came in and asked us a bunch of questions, took our health insurance, and put me on machines to measure the contractions and baby’s heart rate.  Steve and I played Scrabble while we waited. Behind the curtain to my right another couple waited, but on my left a young mother and her two year old sat. That mother kept yelling at her daughter telling her, “your gettin’ on my nerves!  Be quite!”  That became a joke during our stay at the hospital. After being there an hour and a half, they sent us home. The nurse herself had six babies and said this, sitting at 4cm, was typical of a forth pregnancy. We were disappointed. Steve called his mom to tell her, but she decided to come down anyways because she knew it was going to be soon.

            When we got back Steve picked the kids up. I decided to go to Wal-mart to do my grocery shopping. I could always drop a jar of pickles if my water broke. That’s the cliché, right?  As I walked around, my contractions picked up. Towards the end they were coming every other aisle.

            When I got home, Melinda was already at our house. She helped me unload the groceries. I started to get some really hard contractions. Marie told me she thought I needed to use the bathroom. Steve wanted me to sit down so he could see if the contractions would stop like they did earlier. I sat on a kitchen chair. He wanted me on the recliner, but I was afraid my water would break all over it.  I tried to eat my dinner. We decided to just drive to the hospital after dropping Peter off at his football coach’s house at 5:30.  This time the drive to the hospital wasn’t as pleasant, which we knew was a good sign, but it hurt.

            Due to the painful look on my face, we were immediately given a labor and delivery room.  The nurse checked me and I was at 8cm. I made known I wanted an epidural right away.  The nurse said the anesthesiologist was on the floor.  The doctor on call, Dr. O’Connell, checked me as well.  She said I was at almost a 9. Then she broke my water.  There was no more talk of the anesthesiologist. I began to cry because I knew the labor was going just like Marie’s did. That was the most painful experience of my life. I really didn’t want to repeat it. Each contraction hurt my back more than words can explain. I said a couple of times, “Why does it have to hurt so bad in my back.” I really knew the answer and I should have voiced that the baby was facing up and needed to turn. Each contraction made the baby’s head ram into my coccyx. I tried really hard to cope well with the pain. I stared at the flowered wallpaper and breathed through each contraction while squeezing Steve’s hand.  I tried not to cry anymore because it made it worse. I just wanted it over with. I did say I wanted a natural birth, but when the face is up, the contractions are barely bearable. I accepted that this baby’s birth would be like Marie’s, which maybe meant that it was also a stubborn girl.  This thought helped because I really wanted a little girl.

About an hour later the doctor came back to check me again. I was still at 8cm. They called the anesthesiologist. He had left the hospital, but they reassured me that he had to be within 30minutes.  He got there in 40minutes. I had three painful contractions while he placed the epidural.  Once it was in I could feel it working right away and I relaxed some. It was about 8pm so I asked Steve if his mom texted saying the kids were in bed.  The nurse said this question was a good sign because I could think about something other than the pain now.  Steve turned on a football game and we waited. This labor was turning out to be more like Thomas’, which was my favorite. I was getting excited to meet my little one.

The doctor came back around 9:30 and got the bed ready for the delivery. I asked for a mirror, which I found to be very motivating and amazing when Thomas was born. I wasn’t feeling the urge to push yet.  The doctor said I could push whenever I felt like it and it shouldn’t take too long. I pushed through several contractions. We now could see the top of the head, dark hair like Marie!  The doctor and nurses asked us about the names we had picked. We only got to tell them about the girl name, Leona Mabel, before it was time to push again. They started cheering for “Mabel” to come.  I saw that doctor's hand was fully inside me. She felt that in fact the baby was face up. I think she tried to turn the baby some. I pushed through some more contractions. I could tell the doctor and nurses were getting discouraged. They said I was swelling below and gave me oxygen. I said that with Marie they had me get out of bed and used different birthing balls. Because of the epidural they said I could not get out of bed. I said how about I try to push on my side. I pushed through a few contractions on each side. The baby position didn’t change. Each push the baby would descend, and then after I stopped, the baby would ascend back up.  I tried envisioning the baby coming down as I pushed. I suggested pushing on my hands and knees. They let me do it. The nurse said she hadn’t had a patient like me in while.  I was determined to get the baby out. The baby position remained the same.  My bottom had become very swollen at this point. They had me not push through a few contractions and just deeply breath in the oxygen. Then I pushed through one or two more contractions on my back. The baby’s heartbeat began not to recover after those pushes.  Finally it remained at 80bpm instead 150bpm for 6mins.  The doctor called for an operating room. I began to cry.

 I didn’t want a c-section. I said that very thing out loud. I felt so defeated. They tried to reassure me this was the best thing for my baby.  The heart rate came back up once they stopped the labor. I was going to have an “emergency c-section,” but was told it wasn’t really an emergency since the baby was stable.  Calmly the doctor and nurses prepared me for surgery. I cried the whole time. I was not mentally prepared for this type of birth. I wanted the relief and instant joy of vaginal delivery. After I was all tied down had the blue paper blocking my view one of the anesthesiologists asked me if I needed a sedative. I sort of glared at him said no and asked why. I needed to lie still while they did the procedure.  I tried to pull my emotions in. I felt like I was on the cross. I had no control. 

I could feel them working on me. It didn’t hurt. It just felt odd.  I could not really tell when they pulled the baby out, which was disappointing. It didn’t feel like a birth to me. I knew it was out because they said, “It’s a boy!” I remember Steve being happy, maybe even cheering. He could see over the stupid blue cloth and see the baby. I had to lie there.  I really wanted a girl and felt extremely guilty for not being happy. The baby wasn’t even crying much.  It didn’t feel real. I asked, “Why isn’t he crying?” This was turning into all of my pre-labor nightmares. They told me c-section babies don’t cry as much because it’s less traumatic for them. I was glad it was less traumatic for at least one of us.  After a long 15-20 minutes they untied my arms and gave me the baby. I was so glad the he was alive and healthy, but part of me still longed for the birth experience I had with my others.  I felt guilty for that too.

One of the nicest things that happened after the birth was that the baby’s nurse allowed Steve to give Joseph his first sponge bath next to my bed. I loved that she tried to keep Joseph with us as much as possible.  I was able to nurse and hold him during his first hour of life before he fell into that deep sleep newborns go into.

Recovering from a c-section is a lot harder. And I basically had to recovery from both kinds of delivery because of the severe swelling that developed while I pushed.  I didn’t get out of bed until noon the next day. During the night I had to have Steve or the nurse pick the baby up so I could feed him.  The fact that I couldn’t even sit up on my own worried me so much, how was I going to care for this baby and my other three at home?

On Tuesday morning the doctor came to see how we were doing. She wanted to see if my swelling had gone down. She had never seen anyone swell so much. It hadn’t decreased by much. It would not until the next day. On Tuesday evening I started to have hot flashes and then chills where I shook uncontrollably. I felt helpless and scared.  I asked Steve for a blessing. I’m so glad I have a husband who holds the priesthood worthily. In the blessing the Lord told me my afflictions would be for but a small moment. I felt comforted and loved. I slept well that night and woke up with greater strength both physically and mentally.  I was able to push myself out of bed and use the bathroom without assistance.  By the end of Wednesday I could stand-up straight, but getting up and down was still challenging.

On Thursday morning they stopped my IV pain meds, so I asked for some oral pain medicine (Tylenol with oxycodone).  The nurse said a dose was two pills so I took two. Bad idea. It made me so drowsy and nauseous. They were trying to discharge us like we requested the night before, but I could hardly stay awake to fill out the paper work and answer the questions the parade of people were asking me. The meds wore off some by noon and we left the hospital by 1pm.  

Since getting home my recovery has gone quickly. I even stopped the pain meds (800mg Motrin) early. I like to feel what my limits really are so I don’t overdo it.  Steve stayed home for two whole weeks. He and Thomas have become best buds. Joseph is a good baby. He sleeps pretty well at night.  All the kids adore him. Marie wasn’t a bit disappointed with another brother.  When she and Peter get home from school they hold Joseph before doing anything else.  He has brought more love into our home. We are so grateful for him. What I have learned from his birth is what I sometimes sing to Peter “No, you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need.”

After daddy gave him a bath.

Mommy recovering with Joseph.

After their first day of school the kids came to the hospital to meet Joseph and eat dinner with us. Although I was still on a clear liquids diet, so they had pizza and I had jello.

 Big brother Tom holding Joseph.

 Daddy and Baby Joe.

Peter had to check out his toes of course.

 We are so grateful that Grandma Melinda was able to stay with our kids while we were at the hospital.

 Marie and Peter taking turns holding Joseph after school.